7 Reasons Why You’re Not Leaving That Job You Hate (And Why Those Reasons Are B.S.)

Remember New Years’ Eve, when you vowed that this year you would stop complaining about your crappy job and do something about it. You resolved to start that business, pursue a new career, or to go back to school. However another year has come and gone, and you’re still showing up to work at a job you hate.

If you’re like me, a person who stayed at the job she hated for several years too long, you’ve rationalized your stay with your current employer over and over again. You’re grown. You have bills. You don’t have enough in savings. All true, and all still just excuses.

To help you stop the rationalization train in its track, here are the 7 reasons why you’re not quitting the job you hate and why those reasons are such b.s.

Reason #1: You Need the Money
No matter how unsatisfied you are at your job, you think you have to stay because of the money. You think to yourself, “if I don’t keep this job, how will I afford to pay my rent, my car note, or my kid’s tuition?” But think again.

Most professionals, i.e. lawyers do not have the money problem that they think they do. A real money problem means that you have no options to provide for your basic needs and no prospects of providing for them in the future. If you left your job today, you likely would not have that problem. You might have to give up comforts, sell some old stuff that you don’t use anyway or dip into your 401K after you leave your job, but a moment of discomfort is much better than years of suffering through a job you hate.

Reason #2: No One Else Will Hire You
Want to know the real reason why you can’t find another job? Barring some major deficiency in your qualifications, it’s because you don’t really want that job anyway. People who are passionate about a position are infectious. They light up when they talk about their qualifications, demonstrate a genuine interest in the field, and have the requisite skills. You may have the skills, but you know deep down you do not care about the position to which you applied. The job paid well, and you had the experience. However, those jobs were not the dream. Your dream, your unlive life, is calling you.

Reason #3: Your Dream Job Can’t Support Your Lifestyle
Popular culture makes it seem like you have to have a “real job,” i.e., something in the corporate, medical, engineering, or legal arena to make any “real money.” However, modern life is telling a different story. Through technology people support themselves and their families in all sorts of ways including coaching, flipping real estate, online ESL teaching, lego artistry, etc. The internet has connected the world and consumers. There is an audience and a market for just about everything, and you can create a job in any of those industries in a way that pays.

Reason #4 You’re a Grown Up
I’m not sure when adulthood became synonymous with giving upon yourself and hoping that your offspring or future offspring will be happy instead, but it sure as heck seems like that’s the way a lot of people are approaching adult life these days. While it may feel good to say you are “taking care of your responsibilities” by keeping that job you hate, really you’ve just decided that figuring out a way to be self-sufficient and responsible through a career you actually enjoy it too hard or scary even to attempt. That has nothing to do with adulthood or being grown. That’s just giving up on yourself.

Reason #5 You Don’t Know What You Want To Do Next
A lot of people tell me that they would leave their jobs, but they have not idea what they want to do next. When you’re in a rut and all you feel is that you’d rather be doing anything other than your current position, it’s going to take you some to decide on your next career move in a way that feels responsible. That’s ok and makes sense.

But trust me. Deep down you already know what you really want to do next. You’ve just decided that it’s unreasonable or impossible to follow that dream. You may be right. If you’re 42 years old, it’s highly unlikely that you will be able to leave your job and get a gig as the next power forward for the Cleveland Cavaliers. But the point here is, you’ve known what you wanted to do all along. Admitting that truth to yourself now allows you to open the floodgates and create your new dream if the old one is no longer feasible.

Reason #6 You Haven’t Found Your Passion
This is similar to reason #5 in that people don’t quit their job because they think they need a passion. Once they find that passion, they will have all the answers and happily move on to the next step of their career.

For most of us, passion doesn’t work that way. You can’t “find your passion” by thinking, reading book after book, or taking personality tests. Passion follows action not thought. You must try-on some of the careers or experiences that you think might be your passion, see what you like, and then decide to master that area actively. It is the activity of mastery that develops passion, but you have to do the thing first, not the other way around.

Reason #7 Your Current Job Isn’t That Bad
Here’s the deal. While it is true that a person might love your company and your current role, that person isn’t you. Stop telling yourself the job isn’t that bad. You’re not ungrateful or disrespectful by admitting that you hate it. What that unsatisfied feeling is telling you is that it is time for you to do something else. Again your dream, your unlived life, is calling you. Take a chance on yourself.

Have any thoughts or questions about the reasons people stay at jobs they hate? Have your own reasons to add to the list? Let me know in the comments below.