How To Truly Make A Decision

After my post last week on clearing mental clutter, I had more than a few discussions about how to make a decision and the maximizer/satisficer concept.

To refresh your memory, a maximizer wants to make the optimal choice. She is looking for the “best choice” for any given decision. A satisficer sets her criteria first and then chooses the first thing that comes into her awareness that meets the criteria.

If a satisficer goes to the mall in search of a strapless, floor-length red dress and finds it at the first store, her shopping trip is over. If that happens to a maximizer, she is putting the dress on hold at the counter and then going to every other dress store in the mall to make sure that she is choosing the best one.   

Often our search for the “best” whatever takes much longer than we intend.  Yet, we perform the “best of” inquiry anyway because we don’t want to get burned. We’ve all spent our hard earn money on products or services that do not perform as advertised. It is truly frustrating when that happens, and social proof seems to eliminate that frustration.

Social Proof

Social proof is a psychological and social phenomenon where people assume the actions of others in an attempt to reflect correct behavior in a given situation.  Basically, we copy each other because if the majority of people are doing something, it feels like the right course of action to us.

Websites like Yelp and Consumer Reports give us insight into to what everyone else is doing because those sites aggregate customer reviews and tell us whether a restaurant has 5-star or 3-star food. They tell us what everyone else is doing so we can copy and not feel like we are missing out.       

That system works well as long as you assume that there is only going to be one “best choice” for every decision. If only life was that orderly.

The Nature Of Decisions

When it comes to decision making, we tend to believe that there is “one best choice” for us in any given situation.  From taco choices and running sneakers to choosing a college or choosing a job, we all think that one option will rise to the top as the best option for us.

But our 6-hour research sessions on Yelp for a taco should tell us that decision-making is just not that simple.

For example, if you had to decide whether you should stay with your fiancé in city X or move to city Y for a better paying job and do the long distance relationship thing, what would you do?  For most people, these options satisfy two separate needs – the need for love and security and the need for financial stability and adventure. Is one better than the other? Probably not.

We all have multiple great lives (and plans) ahead of us.  One choice will lead you down one path and the other choice will take another route. Both paths will take you to great places, so how do you choose?

How To Truly Make A Decision

This is where the maximizer-satisficers concept comes in to play. To make a choice between two equally appealing options use the satisficer approach. Set the criteria for what you need in your life right now first.

Most people skip this step or fail to be honest with themselves about their needs at that point in their lives. They are hoping that the “best choice” selection will tell them what they need at the moment. (Or what they should need based on what everyone else is doing.)

However, that is the maximizer approach which can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety.  

If we take the time to sit with ourselves, set criteria for what we really want or need right now, and stick to our standards until the thing that meets our criteria comes into our awareness, we’ll save ourselves a whole lot of time and angst.

For example, take the fiancé vs new job question, many people would say the best choice is the job and the money.  But if you really know and listen to yourself, you may find that a loving relationship holds a higher value for you right now.  So you should decide to stay and forego the money. Will people think you are crazy? Maybe, but they don’t know your needs or your standards at this point in your life.

(Incidentally, don’t stay if your fiancé sucks. Loving relationships and sucky fiancés don’t add up.) 

Once you set your standard and make a decision, really make it. That means taking action toward what you’ve decided to do and building your way forward to the next decision. If you don’t take action, your maximizer tendencies will start to creep in leading to doubt and indecision. You’ll be right back to trying to find the best option again.

Taking action, even for the scary choices, is the only way to make the decision real and to keep moving forward on the path. 

Questions

So I have a couple questions for the comments this week.  First, do you see my sweet, sweet accent on the word fiancé?  I just figured out how to do that on my Mac. I’m pretty proud.  Next, I’d like to know how you go about making tough decisions.  What is your process? Will the maximizer-satisficer concept make that easier for you? Let’s discuss below this post.