What The Fudge is A Tribe Anyway?

Two of my closest friends live by the same principle when it comes to meeting new people and developing new friendships. Though they say it in different ways, the basic principle is this:

No new friends.

Now, these friends are two of the most charismatic and kind people that you’ll ever meet. People are naturally drawn to them, and they charm everyone. They just follow the “no new friends” rule because they learned a lot earlier than I did that finding people who “get you” is a lot harder as an adult than it was as a kid. Adults are much more guarded and “getting” someone requires vulnerability.

These two friends also know that having shared interests does not mean that a person will have your back in the way a friendship demands.  That type of loyalty and connection is usually tied to years and years of supporting each other through good times, bad times, and everything in between. It’s rare that acquaintances stick around for that long when you are an adult.  So for my two friends this means, “no new friends.”

A tribe is very different. A tribe is just a group of people that share an interest.  That interest may be a sport, a political affiliation, or membership in a community service group. The only requirement is that the members of the tribe care about the same thing.

For the most part, tribes fall into two categories – personal and business.  

Your Personal Tribe

There are many ways to identify members of your personal tribe. The first method is applying the conventional wisdom that “we are the some of the 5 closest people to us.” Those 5 are definitely in your personal tribe. They are the closest people to you for a reason, and those bonds are strong.

There are also members of your personal tribe that aren’t your family or friends.  These people are the ones that just “get you.” If y’all are in a room together, you know almost immediately that you are both on the same page. You get each other’s world view and usually subscribe to a similar perspective.

If I had to describe my fellow tribe members in one word it would be disruptor.  The people that “get me”are innovative and exciting. They try new ideas, are self-aware, and genuinely live by the principle that all men (and women) are created equal no matter their sex, origin, or sexual preference.  My people tend to their side of the street and do their best to clean up their own emotional baggage.

Your Business Tribe

The only difference between your personal tribe and a tribe in business is positioning.  When you “find your tribe” as an entrepreneur, it means that you’ve decided to lead. You’ve chosen to use your gifts and talents to serve a specific group of people.  You’ve also decided to listen to their ever-evolving needs and come up with solutions to address those problems too.

Finding your tribe in business is less about you directing anything and more about your willingness to lead through service.  There are people who need your words, ideas, products, or services to grow, and you are a leader if you decide that you will be the creator to give it to them.  What’s challenging about “finding a tribe” in this way is that it requires public vulnerability. People have to know that your work will support them, and so they must get to know you as a person to determine that.  

What are your thoughts on tribes and ways of identifying them?  Let me know in the comments below. Let’s start a discussion together.